Run.

There are days when I... sitting on the couch, tea in hand... am thinking. Yet, in my mind, I am not in this position.

I am running.

Hair flying, tears pouring from my eyes, arms reaching, legs hitting the ground, and every ounce of muscle I have being poured into increasing my speed and persevering.  As I run, I am crying through the pain, labouring to breathe, gasping as I go, "Lord, all for you, all for you!  Let me leave it all behind, just to see you, to run to you, to know you, to follow you!"  I am running the race of life, feeling alone sometimes, keeping my eye on the prize... Or sometimes, closing my eyes just trying to picture Him as I press on.

And so I sit on the couch this evening; thinking.  Running.

I tell myself, "Just run, Naomi.  Run.  Never look back."

"Run to Him."

Good Morning, 2014

I find myself an interesting mix of melancholy this morning.  Perhaps you can relate.  On the one hand, I find myself wearing a Santa hat, headphones in my ears, listening to the most epic song I can find whilst imagining myself conquering all odds in the year to come... And, in slow motion, I imagine myself living my own greatest inspirations.  Makes me feel really cool.  Even in a Santa hat.

Still, on the other hand, I find myself very… frightened.  Here I stand on the brink of a new year, arms spread wide, breathing deep… And asking myself, "Will I make it?  Will I soar… or will I fall?"

Told'ja.  Interesting mix of melancholy.

Yet, in the midst of all that, I'm clinging to the Truth.  To Jesus.  After all, I remind myself, it is all about him.  2013 was about him.  2014 is about him.  Life… We have it because of him.

And so, as I stand on the brink of 2014, arms stretched wide, breathing deep… I turn my face toward heaven and open my heart to listen… Where will you take me this year, Lord?  Guide me, teach me, lead me.  Perfect your strength in my weakness.

To my question of, "Where do I find life in living?  How will I get there?  What is the truth of my future?" I hear,

John 14:6 (KJV) - "Jesus saith unto him, I am the way, the truth, and the life: no man cometh unto the Father, but by me."

To my cry of, "Lord, I am afraid," I hear,

John 14:26-27 - But the Comforter, which is the Holy Ghost, whom the Father will send in my name, he shall teach you all things, and bring all things to your remembrance, whatsoever I have said unto you.  Peace I leave with you, my peace I give unto you: not as the world giveth, give I unto you. Let not your heart be troubled, neither let it be afraid."

Isaiah 40:1 - "Comfort ye, comfort ye my people, saith your God."

To my plea of, "Lead me Lord, and make my paths straight!" I hear,

Isaiah 42:16 - "And I will bring the blind by a way that they knew not; I will lead them in paths that they have not known: I will make darkness light before them, and crooked things straight. These things will I do unto them, and not forsake them."

To my downcast expression of, "Lord, I am weak…I need your strength." I hear,

1 Corinthians 12:9-10 - "And he said unto me, My grace is sufficient for thee: for my strength is made perfect in weakness. Most gladly therefore will I rather glory in my infirmities, that the power of Christ may rest upon me.  Therefore I take pleasure in infirmities, in reproaches, in necessities, in persecutions, in distresses for Christ's sake: for when I am weak, then am I strong."

And,

Isaiah 40:28-31 - "Hast thou not known? hast thou not heard, that the everlasting God, the Lord, the Creator of the ends of the earth, fainteth not, neither is weary? there is no searching of his understanding.  He giveth power to the faint; and to them that have no might he increaseth strength.  Even the youths shall faint and be weary, and the young men shall utterly fall:   But they that wait upon the Lord shall renew their strength; they shall mount up with wings as eagles; they shall run, and not be weary; and they shall walk, and not faint."

To my question of, "Where should I go?" I hear,

Hebrews 12:1-2 - "Wherefore seeing we also are compassed about with so great a cloud of witnesses, let us lay aside every weight, and the sin which doth so easily beset us, and let us run with patience the race that is set before us,  looking unto Jesus the author and finisher of our faith; who for the joy that was set before him endured the cross, despising the shame, and is set down at the right hand of the throne of God."

And finally, to my question of, "How should I follow you, Lord?" I hear,

Proverbs 3:5-6 - "Trust in the Lord with all thine heart; and lean not unto thine own understanding. In all thy ways acknowledge him, and he shall direct thy paths."

[Actually, I'm hearin' ALL of Proverbs 3.  Just mentioning.]

Breathe in, breathe out.  Fix your eyes on Jesus… And set off running.

Here I come, 2014.  Here I come.  

Great is the Lord, and Greatly to be Praised!

The other day I was sitting in the front passenger seat of our van as my mom and I drove out to the county, about an hour's distance from our house.  During the long stretch of road between our home and our destination, the country was coloured with autumn trees, and the world seemed to have that stillness about it that comes with a light morning rain.

I held a cup of tea in my hands as I observed it all, and took a moment to thank God for the beauty that He gives us in creation.  And then, my mind began to wander.

I have been considering learning to speak another language, since I will be going to school in Germany next year.  I don't need German for my studies, but for the sake of travel, and being able to properly express my gratitude for the kindness of the people hosting me, I want to be able to say a few things at least.  I reflected on the differences in language; my mom speaks German, and often, when she and her siblings will talk to each other, then we (their kids) ask for a translation… but sometimes there is nothing in English to translate the German word.  Language is a curious thing.  We have words to express what we see, feel, taste, and touch.  And in some languages, we have words that express certain feelings or emotions that another language might not have words for.  So sometimes, for lack of words to express ourselves, our emotions remain silent… or else are tediously described with whatever words we can find to best bring it to the understanding of our listener.

Then, I looked out the window again.  And I remembered the thousands of English words I have read in my favourites stories, like Anne of Green Gables, where pages and pages describe scenes like the one I was seeing outside my window.  Word after word painted in my imagination pictures of what the author wanted to convey… A depth of beauty in nature and emotion.  Likewise many writers have done; for example, rather than just describing "A field with a tree in it," an author might choose to convey it in a more descriptive way, like "A golden field of wheat, just before harvest, with a large oak in red and auburn standing strong in a persistent breeze."

It occurred to me, as I observed the nature outside, that I could use several hundred words to describe this quiet scene before me, and still I would not exhaust the depth of detail and beauty that was represented by this place.  

Language is curious.  And nature is complex.

Then I thought, "How much more complex would it be to describe a person!"  A human being, described in words, is an inexhaustible subject for description.  Along with the unique appearance of every person, and the different ways that they look from everyone else, a human being is created with personality, DNA, a unique operating system of body, soul, and spirit intelligently designed by Creator God.  To attempt description, perhaps, is to reduce.  I am reminded of the psalmist as he said, 

"I will praise thee; for I am fearfully and wonderfully made: marvellous are thy works; and that my soul knoweth right well." - Psalm 139:13-15

Here is a man who understood a bit of the depth in creativity and magnificent design represented in his being.  It is not a statement of pride - But one of absolute humility, as far as I can see, as a man considers what is too deep and too great to describe in words: the finished work of a master designer.    

People are living, breathing artwork, designed completely uniquely from each other, in the image of the Master, the Lord our God.  Wow.  We are complex in a way that cannot be put into words in any sort of complete way.    

Further still, my mind continued to explore this thought.  "If we cannot fully describe beauty in nature, let alone ourselves, how much greater and more complex is the One who made it all!"  At this point, my mind began to get beyond its own capacity.  He who made all, sees all, knows all, is above, in and through all things… Wow.  Every detail that we could ever know and attempt to describe, He made.  He knows it, inside and out.  Every detail that fails to meet the human eye, yet continues to be and operate in the way He created it… He knows.  Every thing that we have yet to discover, whether it be too large or too small to have been noticed by us… He knows it. He made it.  And He fully, without need of words or description, comprehends it.

And yet… This God, this great and mighty God, this creative, beautiful God… Speaks to us.  In words.  He gives us his Word, the Bible, to teach us in our own language that which we cannot understand without his infinite knowledge, and he sends his Spirit to communicate to our hearts that which mere words could never begin to communicate to our minds.  

I don't know about you, but this train of thought makes me want to read.  There is only one Voice that can communicate true understanding of life, its source, and all of its cautions and wisdom.  There is only One who knows it all.  And he gives it to me in the only way I know how to communicate - In words. In the Bible.  

"Great is the Lord, and greatly to be praised; and his greatness is unsearchable."  Psalm 145:2-4 (KJV)

Reflecting on Faith

Trying to recognize that it is not my ability to believe that makes it great, nor my belief by measure that makes it count. But rather, believing that God is strong, and He is able. Faith is not a reflection of my strength, but an understanding of His.