Sometimes when I'm struggling, I write poems... they aren't great poetry, perhaps, but for some reason I almost find it easier to express my thoughts when I write them in verses, like this.
This one was written a few weeks ago, when I was struggling... comparing myself to other people, feeling like I'm falling short, like God was disappointed in me, irritated with me, not loving me as much as some other people around me... This struggle continues, to a point... I'd be lying to say I've come through completely. But God is faithful, and I will cling to his Truth.
I know that regardless of what I say, do, or accomplish, I am still loved. My Lord knew every thought, word, and action before they ever took place, and he still died for me.
I am his.
"O Lord, you have searched me and known me!
You know when I sit down and when I rise up;
you discern my thoughts from afar.
You search out my path and my lying down
and are acquainted with all my ways.
Even before a word is on my tongue,
behold, O Lord, you know it altogether.
You hem me in, behind and before,
and lay your hand upon me.
Such knowledge is too wonderful for me;
it is high; I cannot attain it."
"For I am sure that neither death nor life, nor angels nor rulers, nor things present nor things to come, nor powers, nor height nor depth, nor anything else in all creation, will be able to separate us from the love of God in Christ Jesus our Lord."
By Naomi Thomson
Confusion, selfishness, pride, envy
whirling through my mind…
Playing a game of comparisons,
of every shape and kind.
Thoughts that tell me honestly,
or so I seem to link,
that what makes a person valuable
is what other people think.
What gives me that idea,
I really am not sure.
I know my Saviour loves me,
with a love alive and pure.
Yet I tell myself I don’t deserve
a good man to love me someday…
When Christ the Lord died for me,
and “You are loved,” I hear him say.
I measure myself strictly
against what others might see of me.
And then I measure other people
against what I think I can see.
All this while, Jesus looks at our hearts,
he knows what is inside;
and “You are loved” he says to us,
though our hearts are filled with pride.
Why do I think I am not loved,
when Jesus Christ can see
all the things I’ve said and done
which nailed him to a tree?
Why do I think that I won’t get
that love I don’t deserve?
When I know that I have it already;
Jesus came to love and serve.
Forgive me Lord, please change me;
make me new from the inside out.
I don’t want to believe these lies anymore,
I want to be free, without a doubt.
Make my heart to know and feel
the Truth that sets me free.
Make my life to mirror you Jesus,
let “You are loved,” be seen in me.
May the comparison I make no longer be
about my effort to arrive;
but let it be about Jesus;
how I was dead, and now I’m alive.
There was death, now there is life,
and this life is available to me.
There was confusion, there was selfishness,
but now Jesus has set us all free.
Joy, O my soul! Delight in your God,
he loves to hear your voice.
Though you don’t deserve his love,
you can receive it, it’s your choice.
Follow Jesus, loved one!
He wants you to be free.
Let go of the thoughts inside you,
that ask, “What do they think of me?”
It doesn’t matter what they think,
the Truth will always stand;
Jesus loves and lives for you,
and he offers you his hand.
It’s not about what you deserve,
or what your efforts can achieve.
It’s all about what he’s done for you,
what he gives you to receive.